The things that I've learnt ever since I entered JU:-

1) Vodka tastes like pickled shit. What on Earth makes people drink that????
2) Carrying cigarette packets in your jeans is harmful for your wallet.
3) Cigarette smoking is injurious for your pocket.
4) Table tennis is not a bad game either.
5) Cheat in the exams, unless the guard's gonna catch you.
6) Teachers suffer from a huge amount of complex.
7) Most of the people are not open minded and unapproachable.
8) Seniors are basically good guys but there are exceptions.
9) Nitrazepum is for people who really need it.
10) Gods are there as there are demons.
11) Ragging is not that an issue.
12) The doors is a highly overrated band.
13) Kurt forever.
14) People usually are not ready to help others.
15) Sweet girls are hard to find.
16) Being present in the class is a good habit, but being absent may help you more.
17) Lectures are boring.
18) Beer tastes best when chilled.
19) Hangout is really a cool thing to do, much cooler than a date.
20) Sudipta [male] is a Gandu.

The exams are finally over and this could not have been a more disastrous ending. Although it was much better than I expected and also mentioned in the last entry. As expected I got screwed in the digital section, had to leave 7 marks untouched. There are wrong answers among the others too. However as one of my friends says, the results are still at least two months away, so lets stop talking about this and enjoy this moment. The most important thing that I learnt in this exam is that its getting tougher and tougher to manage the syllabus at the last moment. I studied continuously for at least 3 weeks last sem but still failed to manage to cover the whole syllabus properly, I mean it was done somewhat but it was not enough, as I realised during each and every single paper. So I reckon that I'll have to start the studies for the next semester soon, unless the same thing will occur once again. This was the most difficult semesters that I've faced in my life. Most of the papers were tough, I mean that may those not have been that tough but with that level of preparation, everything seems tough. The circuit theory paper was tough, had there not been Gorai with his helping hands, I would surely have been screwed. The prime mover paper was not that tough. But because for my reluctance and also some ambiguous question setting, it went bad for me. Primarily because I didn't have good marks in the class tests, I am sure that I will fail to score even an A in that subject, the rest is in the hands of the God. The computer and materials papers went well, then came maths, the paper was easy but we had poor marks in the class tests [courtesy- mm], so it will not give me a good grade either. And finally electronics. Swagatam Das set his best, and there was no Gorai to help me. Souvik was there though but the guard was strict resulting in me to have a nightmare. However I think I'll not be able to score greater than 8.2-8.3 this sem. Lets see what happens next sem.

Oh!! by the way!! there's a girl who is very much furious on me. I want to say her that I am sorry and this will happen never again. He was not intending it. Please forgive me. :)

Its the eve of the last exam of 2 year 1st sem, the much anticipated electronics paper, for some people. For me, its the worst nightmare that can ever come. You know, the math paper was really trivial, and we all were under lots of pressure regarding that, so it had been a release for me, release from fatigue, my mind is simply refusing to cooperate me, I know that tomorrow I am going to get screwed bigtime, I know that I am entering the cage with 20 marks as handicap, I know I have forgot the implementation of the easiest of gates and muxes and demuxes and blah blah blah, I know that I've left the 555 timer and decade counter untouched, and lastly I know the great Swagatam Das is going to set the paper, but all these are not bothering me currently, unless I would have been in the bed now. The grades gonna fall markedly, the gpa will become worse, scoring 8.5 will remain in dreams but still I have turned somewhat ignorant to all these, most probably because of the frequent fatigue and fatigue release, that has brought about a permanent set of deformation in my mind. Each and every boy of the class are at bed now, but I am awake, I know it gonna affect ma performance tomorrow, but you know I can't help. I am still wondering that why cant these motherfuckers set a easier paper. Once I was told that setting a difficult paper is not a hard task to accomplish at all, but its really tough to make it easy. Probably the teachers are also too much reluctant to think about the paper. All in all I am gonna get sucked up bigtime tomorrow. All I can now ask for is to request you that " pray for me brother, pray for me sister:. Adieu.

Everyday, when I return from my college by train, I lean at the doors. Not because I try to act as a so called "Hero" but because the congestion inside causes asphyxia to me. When I was a little child, or say comparatively younger than what I am now, I had the capability to slid through the crowd, only to get stifled, I used to feel as if a pair of hands clasping my trachea strongly and I am trying to set myself free from the grip, but all my attempts are going to vain. Well! that's a small explanation from my side for leaning even after being aware of the fact that its a fatal habit. Now as I lean and feel the fresh,cool stream of air gushing past me, I usually gawk at the Moon. Strange! Isn't it? Be there a gorgeous lady inside, I still gape at the moon. It's so beautiful that I simply can't resist myself from doing that. I know it sounds stupid but whenever I see a beautiful lady, I always compare her with the full moon, and always end up finding some shortcomings in her in comparison to the Moon. My friends accuse me of having a poor choice, but I have always searched for a face that is as innocent and as gleeful as the Moon is. For the pair of eyes that conveys serenity and has some depth. Like a calm sea or rather ocean. Being a typical Scorpio, I always had this awkward habit of judging and guessing the character of people by their eye expressions. I have been deceived for many times but that enhanced my experience further. Often, I have been able to predict someone's action or mentality by merely judging their eyes. My close friends will tell. I want someone who will not become so bare in front of my eyes, even after years. I hate people who tend to get predictable. I hate realizing the reason behind the action of others. Come on! gimme a break, make things a bit more complicated for me. Put on some challenges in front of me. I have never loved someone before. Yes! my friends will simply wave that claim but its true. Had I been in love, I could never have been able to forget that lady so easily. It took me an year though, but I am that kind of a person who never forgets. Within the span of an year???!!! now, come on!!!! But I'm having a bit of uneasy feeling now a days, like getting lost between a conversation or looking for a face in a place where it is impossible to find or expecting some unusual and extremely weird event and finding it accomplished!! Strange things na???? Have never been through this before. Long live the" I don't know what" for making that day so special. It had been special for me toooooooooo!!!!! :D

28.09.08

Today was a fun day again. I woke up about 12. Puja shopping again. I went to South City with my sister. Well! I convinced her to buy me a jeans, a "Moustache" in fact. The previous day I saw Moustaches getting sold for 800 odd at highland park.Assuming that the price will not vary much with place,we went to South City. But it was not the case. Moustache prices seems to touch the sky here [at least for us]. But my didi bought me one. It costed 1300 odd but was really beautiful.
We had other things to shop too. I bought a "Nike" deo for myself and Didi bagged a perfume bottle from "Archies Galary" for our dad.

Shopping at there being over,we retired for "The Metropolis" again. Didi purchased a deo for herself and a t for Nayanda there. We had a lot of fun and finally returned home at around 7:30. Didi was very kean to watch "OM SHANTI OM" being telecast on the television. and I adjusted myself in front of the computer screen.

Shoppin Day

The KD exam was so so. I tried all but the last question was from "paging and segmentation". I tried to make that portion into my blunt brain the previous day. but I failed but as it was expected and correctly apprehended by Gorai, it was set into the paper and I failed to draw the diagram, I did write some gibberish in its place although. Apart from this, the test was fine, much better than that was expected.
We got informed that the elab will take place as usual, extremely reluctant after the much needed fatigue release, we especially Souvik tried to postpone the class, but all his and our efforts went to vain as NKD [misread to be a nice man by Souvik],the controller of the labs denied strongly. Our experiment was not at all a hard or time consuming one so we packed up early and got our circuit diagrams checked by SH, it was needed because she was one of the most unpredictable teacher, and we cant afford to waste our time in order to get our copy signed by her, on the eve of the electronics and materials tests. However I was on a hurry to leave the college, and in haste I forgot to pick up my clipboard, lab manual and umbrella. The first two was smartly collected by Beji but the third got lost.
I was in a haste because I had a plan to go to Highland Parks in order to complete my Puja Shoppings, Panu accompanied me in this journey. We finally left for there at about 7:30. And after a lot of troubles we finally reached there. I bought 2 jeans from Koutons and one from Passport. Happy with the shopping we returned to our home. Panu had plans to stay at our place that day much to my delight. The day ended with fun.

"Gnat" Marathon

Today has been a all mag day. Now by magging, I obviously do not mean that I am going to snipe an odd of 100 people with an AWP in hand only to get prosecuted the next day with an allegation of mass murdering. Mag means Studies here, or rather "Gnat" would be the more appropriate word here. So I woke up with mental preparations, thanks to KD. Then I started to mag at about 11 am or so, things went on smoothly initially but as time went on my "main memory" started refusing to cooperate. I was sitting in front of those xeroxes and was uttering those words written on them as loudly as possible so that they may penetrate my eardrum and get embossed in my brain. But things did not take place as I expected and I ended up with forgetting almost everything I read. God knows what will happen tomorrow.

 I also have a plan of shopping trousers from the "Highland Parks" tomorrow. The "Pujas" are almost there and I have not completed my shoppings yet. The primary reason behind it is lack of time. Time has been zooming past me this week. Thanks to all of our teachers. 

Tomorrow is Aman's birthday and I will have to plan what I will gift him, Talking about Aman, some people accuses him to be a little indifferent towards emotions. But I dont think so. Yesterday, when I was busy in the drawing class he and Panu did something that I can only expect from my mom, sis or Priyabrata. They arranged my instruments and put them tidyly inside the bag. As I have said earlier small things move me more than the bigger events do. Thanks to both of them. While talking about Aman's Birthday gift, I suddenly realised that I have not yet given the gifts to Goraiman and Siddhartha. I will have to purchase the gifts as soon as possible because to me Souvik's idea of giving them a cake failed to convince me. I dont know when I will be able to. 

I have started playing CS again and found that my reaction time has become awful. Although it still requires 2 bullets for me to kill an opponent but it is taking a hell lot of time to aim. An expected outcome of not being in touch for almost an year. But surprisingly I explored that I have not still forgotten the recoil techniques of CV and Carbine. I tried mag also but again I discovered that I can never be Aman. 

Pidgin

Today I installed Pidgin!!. Its nothing but a simple chat platform like Skype or Meebo. Difference with Meebo is that instead of being fully online it has to be installed. I think I am not being able to express myself. What I am trying to mean is that, it runs in your computer instead of some online server. With Pidgin you can get logged in simultaneously into several instant messengers eg Yahoo mail, Gtalk, AIM etc in one application. Extremely useful for us who have limited RAM. The interface is pretty, but initially I found it rather a bit complicated much like other GNU open source applications. But the basic operations are simple enough. I was eager to test it on someone, but Sorvaja poured cold water on my excitement as he logged out almost as soon as I logged in. Souvik was there online but as expected, he was not responding. I reckon that poor fellow has either gone to bed or is chatting with someone special. I tried to create some custom smiley but it didn't work. But the main reason behind me installing Pidgin was to see who have blocked me, and to my utter surprise it came out to be Subhayan, once best friend of mine, no other guy apart from him blocked me which is also a matter of astonishment for me. But with Pidgin, the primary reason for me to use Gtalk will not get satisfied as I am not going to get the orkut scrap notifications there. So I'll have to continue to use Gtalk. Another cool feature about this software that unlike the Gtalk application, it has the "invisible" status there. A facility that Gtalk [although not the Gtalk from within Gmail] failed to provide. I renamed some of my friends in some funny names, eg:- I renamed Somangsu as "Bagh kore chi chi". It was fun though it lead me to waste my precious time, and now I have only 3 pages of "KD" done... Amen

24.09.08

God bless Debraj!! he saved us from Shibaji by informing him about the class test schedule at right time. With such responsible people at side, who can demand more. Another nice observation is that at last other people of the class have started taking some responsibility. Once again sincere thanks to Debraj and whoever was with him. With such people in class, I wonder how am I leading the "most responsible guy" poll. I can't remember of a single responsibility that I've taken. Once again thanks to my "unpredictable" memory, I always forget important events and appointments. But that's Gorai who gave me the information. Dunno whether he was kidding or not.

The day was a comparatively better one with no scheduled class test, although "KD" is knocking at the door. But who cares to think about that before the last moment. I woke up at nearly 11:00 o'clock and the first face I saw was of a "rang mishtri". Well!! I was a little bit surprised seeing him, but soon I realized that our house is getting painted. As usual I rushed to the college, although I had no reasons to hurry today, the only class that I had to attend was that of Nipu Modak, but then it has become a habit for me. The 1:35 Baruipur local kept me standing on the station for at least half an hour, on reaching Jadavpur, I first submitted the telephone bill, and then sauntered into the university with a Coke in hand. It was 2:55 then so I was perfectly in time, Gorai being responsible enough, brought the " bush-pin" assignment with him, the only headache was that, whether Nipu will conduct the viva as a revenge or not, but Nipu thought otherwise. Instead he told us to finish the "belt-pulley" within the class interval. By not repeating the mistake that we do over and over and still don't learn,we took that order seriously, but still failed to finish the assignment completely within the class. I mean it was almost done but the dimensioning portion was left. But Nipu behaved sympathetically this time, And told us that we can submit the assignment any day within the next Tuesday. But instead of sighing in relief,we took the job even more seriously and almost finished it. Gorai explored today that he draws quite well, and frankly speaking apart from those misaligned lines, his drawing was far better than me. I had to draw the hatched lines for Crunchy, the chap was seriously under pressure at the beginning of the class, as his previous assignment was not finished, but this buddy simply denies to learn, at the moment Nipu told us that there's no need of submitting the assignment that day, all his seriousnesses evaporated. I requested him to complete the job in the class but he replied," kata na!! ar valo lagche na". Well! I think he loves to get under pressure. No comments further.

There were not all roses, I lost my protractor. And that made me to throw the pencil in my hand in disgust. But all well that ends well!! now if I be able to read a considerably large portion of KD's syllabus, I will regard this day as the best day for me in this month

The 4th week of September :(

The week turned out to be a total disaster for me. Yes!! total disaster what I mean. Firstly, when you aren't prepared at all, a tough day at desk doesn't bother you much because you know that that's what you deserved,for depending entirely on cheating.It may or may not go fair. But when you are fully prepared, and still the test goes wrong, it really hurts. Awful thoughts comes into mind. A sense grows inside that the time wasted for that subject could have been utilized in a much more efficient way.That's what happened with me, I entered the class with sufficient preparation, with all the formulae and concepts in my mind backing me.But suddenly I explored that the teacher was ready to screw us, and set a paper, which could only be solved if the time allotted was at least 2 hrs.But unfortunately the time limit was only 50 mins or so, and the teacher collected the paper even before the completion of the allotted time. Things could never have been worse,as I sat at the edge of the desk, and so had very little opportunity to cheat. I came out trying 5 among 6, but only 3 among them seemed to be correct. So the hope of getting an S in maths almost dies here.

Nipu Modak was very much irritated with us as Sagar shewed his butt to him. The poor fellow argued that we would rather have informed him that we are not going to attend the class. And as a revenge he arranged a "surprise test". To add to the injury I forgot to bring the copy containing those formulae of "belt-pulley" and immediately got marked by an enraged Nipu [he wants to date girls although he is married, seems he is not as "innocent" as he appears]
after the submission of the paper, we came to know that depending on what we have written in the paper, we are going to get evaluated. I scored D+. viz. the lowest possible grade. Thanks to my "formidable" memory.

I got caught red handed by GS while smoking in the class. The arrogant fellow was not supposed to be there at the recess, but again thanks to my "good" luck. He threatened me to inform the head. But I reckon he still have not done anything.

There are more things to go. My "bold" classmates forgot to inform Shibaji sir about the class test.And I am sure that another "chat" is waiting for us from Shibaji sir.

Meanwhile the only positive side has been the test of MR. It seems that it has gone fair.At least I think so.

Lyk I bleed but wait...lyk nothins wrong

Sometimes people accuses me to be indifferent to consequences. Like, some friends of mine tells me some of his/her findings,which he/she thinks to be important n i simply don react to them. One think i've understood in this span of 19 yrs [20 to be soon] that ur own emotion simply doesn hav any importance to most of the people with whom u interact, includin ur "best frnds" or sumtimes even ur "caring parents"... i've experienced so much numbness 4m the ppl arnd me that i myself have become numb... so called gr8 events or things deserving interest don affect or interest me ne more... i've finally learnt to live on my own... but sumtimes even my threshold breaks, the eyes want to burst into tears, but dey can't... curse of bein a man... i want to cry but mah eyes betray... a warm cloud of vapor surrounds my head...sumtimes i just want to breathe, but i can't... i don care 4 w8ever happens in the world surrounding me, i simply don care for!!!... previously i loved the words "you" & "we" but now i'm changed...all that think is abt "i", jus lyk u guys suurounding me, the thousands of clowns dat roam the streets daily. Not talkin abt ne1 in particular. but its u, u guys who hav made me lyk this...

P.S.:- My dear frnds [either 4m college or from school], don bother to think urself so important to me dat i'll waste mah tym n write a blog entry 4 u guys. Puttin straight forward, its not abt u .

Why Arsenal???

For such a long time, I have been repetitively asked by my companions that why the heck I love Arsenal, for those who don't know what Arsenal is, its a club in the EPL [English Premier League]. Most of my now and ex-classmates and also the other boys of the same age support Manchester United wholeheartedly, and so many times they have insisted me to switch over from Arsenal to Manchester United, and I denied the offer, off course it doesn't matter for either Manchester United or Arsenal, gaining or loosing support of a single supporter may not seem interesting for the clubs, but still, the single reason that makes me not to support Manchester United is their arrogance, they boast off much more than they actually are, I mean their play style sucks [at least to me], I cant remember of a single player that Manchester United has discovered, the so much discussed Wayne Rooney was clinched from a not so well known EPL club, Everton, just because Manchester United has lots of money, for years they have stole [or in other words, imported] discoveries of other clubs. This is a field where Arsenal simply zooms past Manchester United, the famous English defender Sol Campbell came to Arsenal without having the club to pay any transfer fees. The second reason that makes me hate Man U is the presence of Sir Alex Ferguson, although he is a nice coach but then everything regarding this gentleman is full of arrogance,from his appearance to his words, on the other hand Arsen Wenger talks little, doesn't have a tendency to get into disputes, Alex regards the players of Man U to be his sole property, The third and most profound reason is that I simply can't watch the gamestyle of the Reds, the same play acting by Christiano Ronaldo earns them a penalty, they score from it, and the opponent gets dishearted feeling that they are playing against 12 opponents, while Rio Ferdinand is a good player in my opinion, the same sort of charge by Wes Brown often results in a yellow card to the opponent, Evra is a good player, but another overrated player is Neville, very few times, I have seen him playing to his reputation. The aggressive, physical gamestyle, and galore play acting and some other privileges from the officials enables them to win a match and even the championship, but they can never play like Arsenal, although I like Arsenal playing at Highbury much, the new Emirates Stadium is gorgeous too, when the team attacks, it resembles tides crushing on the shore, Cesc Fabregas is the player I like most, he has plenty of talent [not comparable to Ronaldo though, but he doesn't require play acting to win], it has been a tradition for them. One's eye really remains glued while they are playing, they are so composed you know.But then, they are not half as rich as Man U, so they fail to develop a lineup that is comparable to some other rich clubs of the EPL.Which depraves them of the trophy. But I am sure, as they have shown in the past, this club will earn plenty of bucks, and then Man U!!! you are over.

Man U sucks!!! GAME OVER

Canteen vs Classroom

When I was a newcomer in my college, I used to attend a lot of classes, not that I liked them so much, but in order to avoid ragging, and I thought that performing some act commonly known as " bunking" is not suitable for newcomers either. "Classes are boring", there's this universal rule , classes can never be entertaining. No matter how amusing the lecture be, still it cant surpass some tt rounds. As I grew older, I gained enough courage to start bunking classes. Some appropriate companion also helped it occur. And I found that the outside of the class is much more interesting than the inside. I started spending lots of time outside the class, regardless of how important the class was, I bunked it. and I found that they don't take a toll on my results either. Teachers being completely unfamiliar with my face, failed to develop even a bad impression on me. Time passed on smoothly until one day I found that the outside of the class is not a very entertaining or amusing place either, indeed its fine for short periods, but performing the same activities over and over again, waiting for the tt bat and my turn to come, sitting aimlessly in the union room or canteen with all my friends in class, smoking cigarettes only to find people demanding first,second,.... counters, destroying money over filthy foods from canteen, and watching the same old faces again and again and listening to their usual words. I realized that if I have to hear lectures then why not from professors, they get paid for the job, and their performance is much better. Then all on a sudden, one day I decided to attend a class. I found it rather interesting, I realized that even classes be much more amusing than recess. Moreover I can save lots of money by attending them, because unless I would have to collect the notes. And I left the class with a proper understanding of whatever the teacher had told, the very next class was extremely boring, I could not even hear half the words uttered by the teacher, I learned that like many other things classes can be both boring and interesting, it is not that all classes are boring, people would say that it depends on the teacher but according to me, it depends majorly upon the students. Because if one has grown the mentality that all classes are boring, then nobody can persuade him from feeling bored inside the class, CLASSES ARE INTERESTING, TRY TO ATTEND THEM, AND DON'T BEAR A PREASSIGNED MENTALITY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET BORED. Moreover one has to think about the 70% attendance rule until the movement create some effect [:D]

Losers

Good and evil is so relative!! Isn't it? Sometimes I wake up in the morning and discover a few blisters in my body. Who the hell have created them?? I reckon me. I dare to make that public as some people may call me psycho [or whatever, I cant remember the exact word], you may think me to be a crooked minded human being, a psycho. Hell yeah!! there I am, I like to torture. when there's none available or when the law binds me, why not it be me , myself. Alcohol is a great way to loose yourself. Like it splits you in two, well!! we all have at least two persons living in the same body, at least I do have. My instinct enforces me to torture one of them and make him recessive. and alcohol helps me to do so, in normal state the two faces gets tangled with each other, and torturing one of them, implies infliction of the same on the other. But I don't want that, one at a time,its my principle. Now that's the reason behind me, drinking cohol. The reason behind me, not drinking cohol is that it enables the people around you to joke on you. I just hate people joking on others, because the one who jokes usually remains unaware of the fact that he is full of flaws. I hate people who think they are special, because in most of cases they consider being a bit different from others is uniqueness. It may not be so, may it be that all the people around you are special and you are the only one who is not. Very much possible !! seems confusing??? let me cite a lame example, when I was in class 7 or so, a question regarding the characteristic of some plant was given in the paper, we all answered briefly but one among us wrote the characteristic of all the plants he knew. On being asked, the reply was, lets try something different. Now according to me that was complete idiocy. So many times, I have found people battling over "their specialty" that I am glad to state that I am not special. Teetaw Teetaw [:D] you got it there, I AM SPECIAL BECAUSE I DON'T THINK MYSELF TO BE A SPECIAL PERSON REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER SPECIALTY I HAVE [:D]THAT INDEED MAKES ME SPECIAL IN THIS SPECIAL WORLD FULL OF SO MUCH SPECIALS.WAIT!! THERE'S A CIGARETTE BRAND OF THE SAME NAME AS WELL. Now that I finally started discussing of cigarettes let me explain why I smoke! not for a hallucination or the weird feeling some people use to cite [symptoms resembling vertigo and epilepsy, my pituitary is not that week], OTHERWISE I COULD HAVE WAITED FOR 3 DAYS AND SMOKE ONLY ONE CIGARETTE,cigarettes for me is like a dose to my other face. while one gets involved in some work, the other cherishes the break. Why should it??? let it get engaged in some destructive activities, like I need some guns to blow off hypocrites and some MPs to take over the throne, too difficult, man. lets smoke a cigarette, blowing off hypocrites isn't a bad idea either, but the sad news is that they think others to be idiots, so sad, but too bad for them people even after realizing their mentality commits the same mistake over and over again.Also cigarette has been like my girlfriend, accompanied me in my blues, in those nights before exams, in shadows of my life, then why should I leave them now, " SMOKING IS INJURIOUS FOR HEALTH BLAH BLAH BLAH...GO TO HELL. LIVE TEN MORE YEARS THAN ME IN THIS SO SPECIAL WORLD, I DONT CARE. I AM HAPPY WITH THEM. NOW A DAYS, I HAVE STOPPED CONSUMING HARD LIQUORS.But cant leave cigarettes, nor is planning to. AMEN!!

FUCK OFF

Feeling Alien

Situations, where I feel awkward in? Well! There are lots of them for me. In fact, I feel awkward most of the times. Be that my fault or of someone else’s. But I reckon its from my corner since it happens so frequently!! Du’uh!!

I feel uncomfortable, when my mom reveals all the perils I used to create in my childhood to some stranger [at least to me], I have told mom not to do so for at least 1000 times, but I reckon, she gets a heavenly pleasure stating them. So till now, none of my tries to stop my mom emerged worthy. There’s a lot more about my mom. Usually she’s the one who creates the most uncomfortable situations for me. Suppose, we have gone to someone’s wedding or birthday party. I stay assured that inspite of repeated requests; my mom will leave me and my dad alone and join the other ladies there. Well! I understand. being a working woman, my mom gets very little chance to interact with our relatives, so it can’t be regarded as her fault. But the outcome remains the same. And I feel even more uncomfortable when my father starts smoking in front of me. Yeah!! I know, I can’t ask for a cigarette from him, the result will be something disastrous for me. But still, I expect him not to smoke in front of a chain smoker, who’s striving for cigarettes. Talking about my dad, he always complains me that I don’t give enough time to the family (means I don’t talk with them a lot), although my pina is almost a perfect black body that reflects all the incident sound waves, but according to Stefan’s law, sometimes some waves do get absorbed, and I start trying to be a good boy. But whenever I approach towards them, they tell me to me keep shut because they think that unless Ekta Kapoor may feel lonely.

Another awkward situation is that whenever someone asks me whether I know computer, while I was in class 8 or so, my sister used to ask me the same regularly. Well, I should not blame my sister, there’s a lot more veteran and experienced people, who have asked me the same.

Now, my family is not from some alien planet, sometimes my school friends used to do the same. When I was in class 5-7, very often it happened that the teacher asked me a question, I answered, and the whole class started doing “ha ha ha”s. I simply hate this “ha ha ha” thing. When they were asked, they used to give ridiculous replies most of the times. Now I have entered the college, and I still find people doing this “ha ha ha” thingie. In most of the times, I find the reason behind the laughter to be so feeble to even generate a smile. But still “ha ha ha”s, sorry, I don’t have any habit of going to any laughing club.

Whenever,one of my school life friends,meet me, he tells me about the recent affairs of my ex-girlfriend and end up the description by saying," I know it doesn't bother you anymore." I feel awkward but who cares.

Perhaps the most inconvenient situation for me is an appointment with a punctual guy. My close friends know that if I say that I’ll arrive at 9 am, they shouldn’t expect me before 10 am. Now if there’s a punctual guy at the opposite side, life becomes tougher for me. I feel uncomfortable whenever somebody asks for my cell number, because I know that the device remains switched off for most of the time and will remain so for the rest of its life span. The situation turns up more or less for me, when I have a strong fight with someone and have made up my mind to neglect him/her for some days and he/she offers me a COKE.

There’s such an endless list. From the most common situations to some weirdest of incidents. The situation has become so worse that sometimes I feel uncomfortable feeling comfortable.

The bliss of solitude

Can trees talk? A scientist would answer "No".But a lone child will say"yes". Have u ever heard trees talking? They don't shout, but u can feel them whisper & whimper. When I was a child of 5 years or so, a "Gulmohar" tree was my best friend. I was not able to play with other children in the park as they were much older and stronger than me. I used to remain silent at one corner hugging my best friend. He was not quite a tree then but still.

I used to talk with him, quarrel with him and even sometimes beating him, when I hit him , I could clearly fell him whimper. We used to chat for a long long time until the darkness arrived with her veil on.

we used to get drenched in the shower together & he expressed his glee clearly by swaying his branches, & putting dry leaves all over me. In the autumn, he used to greet me with his first blossoms.

Then I grew up & realized what a fool I were to select a tree as my friend. I suddenly realized that it can't talk, can't play with me can't do anything. I used to play in the same park,but didn't bothered of him , I clearly felt that he was sobbing. but that's what to me ? I have had newer friends.

Time went by, now I am even older.Now I realize that I was the greatest fool of the world. I didn't realize that a man has masks. Some real friends may come in ur life, they are like precious jewels but most of the so called " friends" are opportunists . They will come to u when they require u, & leave u alone when their interests are fulfilled.

Never ever betray ur childhood friends. Friendship is more precious than gold. And in most cases the childhood friends of you are your real friends be that a tree or even a book.

Sarkar what????!!!!!

Due to some unavoidable circumstances, me and my friends decided to give Sarkar raj a try recently. That morning I woke up late as usual and hurried towards the spot as usual receiving at least 3-4 calls from Aman and Gorai while in the go. But I somehow managed to reached the spot, " The Fame" of "South City Mall" in time [at least I think so ] and found Neel and Aman waiting for me [or doing something else!!] on meeting them I finally entered the hall and found Sumit, Gorai and some of their school friends there. The movie started finally.

Right from the beginning Sarkar Raj was a pain in the ass, with some silly acting, some misused "Govinda Govinda" background tune and some funky characters with their lips painted black in order to get appeared as a chain smoker [I want to know, which brand of cigarettes or cigars does he smoke]. The movie is a sequel of "Sarkar" and started from where the former ended with Shankar Nagre [Abhishek Bacchan] taking the charge from his father Subhash Nagre [Amitabh Bacchan]. The story revolves around some power plant project. Shankar thinks it to be a major milestone in the development of Maharashtra but Subhash thinks it will make the villagers refugees and clinch their agricultural fields, Shankar somehow manages to convince his father. The story advances. I will not be a spoilsport by telling the whole story and killing the "fun". Abhishek Bacchan tried as much as he could do [he could do nothing], Amitabh was impressive, Aisharya looked like a bimbo as usual. All beauty no expression. I dunno when will we get some acting from her, in the last part of the movie, when Amitabh was telling her all about the conspiracy and she was crying,even then I was not able to see any expression in her face.With Ramu as the director one can not expect a better movie than this. The story was stupid, depiction was stupid, and even the twist was stupid. [Someone among my friends told that they chose the character of ******** because they dint find any other].

However as the movie ended, we went for a better view of the mall.The mall is known as a place for rich people, but I did find some goods that's well within the reach of the middle class, eg. some fine goggles were being sold at well under 1000 bucks. But my eyes got stuck to a female apparel and I bent down to see the price tag. Donu suspected something else [:X] and that made me to move my ass from there. The day was gloomy; these days remind me of little R but some smoking seasons with Aman weren't bad too. We went for lunch to some Chinese restaurant [thanks to Nil], and enjoyed the lunch well. Although Donu stole my pieces of what is called "Honey Chicken". Then we returned to the college,for some drinks. The Uturn meeting was going to take place at about 4. I had almost 5 pegs that day,drunk until I found my head too heavy to keep it off the ground, unaware of when the meeting took place.

As I came back to senses, I went back to my home. I knew what was waiting there for me. [:D] Another day ended.

Realisation; again?????????

Mah mates alleged me of writin sum borin craps [which i call story] in the blog n asked me 2 share mah day 2 day xperience... so m tryin... m not very gud at narrating n more so in English... so m jus tryin folks...

oke yesterday we went 4 da t-shirt distribution among seniors... 1 who knows abt it will understand, oders need not. mah mind waz seekin 4 a break n hold dat beloved tt bat. but du uh!!! i neva got a chance.gettin up early in da morning, sum words with two of my bestest frnds n i had a go.although i wanted 2 talk wid dem longer. i reached da station n found dat the train waz cancelled, hoping there will b sum fellow 2 accompany me n share da snubs.luckily i got another lyadkhor like me.when we reached the spot. we found sum seniors n sum o mah frnds countin sum tshirts.well, there r two states in mah life, one is the king n another is the popper, dat waz da begger day, wid 50 bux in mah pocket n i forgot 2 bring mah id card 2.so i wanted 2 go there by one of mah seniors car. But neva got a chance. I got into a bus wid sum oder ppl n 1 of my best frnd [luckily he decided 2 go wid me, another poor chap got an attack of asthma, but at da end of the day i think he waz lucky], when v reached da spot i called the senior with whom v were supposed 2 go. but he told us there waz no need of us n v better stay wid da band. i got totally pissed of, first of all i never had the intentions to go there n now dey were tellin dat dere waz no need of us at all, so keepin dat grudge in mind i followed the group. I heard sum1 tellin *hey its worthy. G has a hutch connexn.n A has a reliance connexn.* now i realised how important we were n was feelin real bad 4 G cz although he himself chose 2 cum wid us, but i thought i sumhow influenced his decision. However the senior wid us did not seem 2 b so opportunistic. n himself made sum calls 4m his own mobile.

when the work at there was over [n none of the passout asked us 4 sumthin 2 eat] we started wandering in streets.We wandered a lot a lot a lot n a lot.Always knowin da destination but neva da purpose.I hav previously told dat da senior wid us waz comparatively soft hearted.He didnt give me or any of the members ne chance 2 complain. We had sum *kachori*s as our lunch n he eventually starved.of course we paid ours.but still, who does even dis!!!!

we met another band by the way, n got united 2 form a yet bigger gp, meanwhile da senior wid da car appeared wid a 1st yr boy. I was rejoiced 2 see him back.never having a breakfast or a proper lunch, mah feet were refusing 2 cooperate me. mah instead of givin us a lift he ordered us 2 supply sum tshirts, n da oder boy started discussing w8 a tr8 he had, i was totally pissed off n still smilin, da senior selected sum members 2 get into his car, i dunno da reason n i dun wanna know, w8ever be the cause, this was inhuman is da boy who waz always in the car sum blue-blood???!!!

gettin totally distusted i wanted 2 return 2 moi room, but sum of da gpmembers had oder plans.dey wanted 2 go 2 a pub.oke..chalo lets go. dont forget us. feelin as thirsty as never b4 i n mah frnd followed dem. the entered sum pub n ordered sum cohol for dem, n started discussin u-turn

arre vai koi pyass to bujhao, kuch khane ko to do, fir uturn dekha jayega. mah frnd turned his face 2wards me wid a weird smile n asked me whether i ll hav sum vodka.[i l8r came 2 know he broke his security deposit 4 dis] i readily agreed, n the waiter informed us dat theres a nu brand in the market which will give u a peg free if u take 2. mah frnd convinced another one 2 hav 1 so i finally got sumthin 2 drink.but ek se pyass nehi bujhta yaar. I wanted 2 escape, but a senior gave me n another chap, 15 bux n told us 2 buy a pack of gold flake. a bhikharee donated 5 rs expecting at least w8 he paid for. but as soon as da senior saw a cig waz missin he told us 2 return dat. oh i forgot, i got a toooo large sip of beer.

but sumhow i tried n managed 2 escape. now 1 of mah frnd will say dat fuck dis small things n forget all dis. but boss, small things tells u a lot dan bigger things. sum1s mentallity gets totally reflected in small things. dey tell u a lot more dan dey r supposed 2. Whenever ppl see dat dere can be a bigger * bawal*, they start to control demselves.

A tale of a,b,c n ME

Okay!! First the readers require an xplanation that y I were not here dese days, n y did I finally cum back!! Well!! I must confess dat I forgot dis blog thingie completely n it came back in moi mind as sum of moi frnds started doin it again… a few n a lot things have happened during dese period.. but as all kno dat I feel comfortable sharing moi feelin in front o moi frnds so I will share a dream I had recently . Well, the guys who think dat; another boring n stupid work by orange is going to start, I can assure dem dat although it’s a dream but it will take da form of a story… the story [or rather] dream started wid four characters in fact four frnds discussing among demselves abt deir trip dat ll commence on deir summer vacations..well I cudn’t identify deir faces but one of dem was certainly me. So I will designate dem by a,b,c n me. A tale of a,b,c n me. So a said ki lets go to somewhere seaside. Well although moi name is a synonym of sea in Bengali, I hate sea cz everytime I went sumwhere seaside, prickles n acnes attacked me. So I opposed strongly, b as usual said ki lets go 2 sum hillstation, dis idea waz again opposed by me as I thought I had vertigo,dese tyme I got a little frown 4m c,da only female member of our clan. All da boys of our clan though ki shez a little bit inclined 2wards dem but I knew she luffed me [hey, I waz another boy of da clan, so don take it serious :D]. a den suggested ki he haz a uncle in sum remote place o goa which iz not situated seaside either. I had a strong urge 2 oppose but dis tyme dint got enough reasons so it waz finalized. We bought tickets, gathered at a place,went dere blah blah blah…… but w8 iz of worth dat v finally reached da spot wid a extremely oled human being [perhaps waitin 2 die in presence o us] escorting us. The house wazn’t great, not at all. It looked loke an ancient medieval fort used as a toilet of da soldiers n now of the mice n all kinds of creatures. The fort or rather ruin has only 2 or 3 rooms where human can reside.our gr8 uncle not at all impressed by our arrival gave a room 4 us boys n another room 4 c [dishearted v were, mean uncle :X]. So we unpacked our luggage n baggage, n were discussing abt a’s brilliant idea. Den suddenly b came up wid an idea. Dese old toilets are favorite dwelling place for moaning maries. n they r very frndly ghosts indeed. So when the uncle came back v asked him whether dere r sum ghosts or not. The uncle made a face dat resembles the faces of characters in horror movies while narrating horrifying xps. N said “ NO”. ahhhh!! Very well now v hav completely ruined our holidays. The faces of mah collg frnds n da stolen tt bat flashed in mah mind. Hope I would dere, practicing mah always imperfect backhand..sigh sigh… suddenly c came in screaming. V xpected sumthing xciting but 2 add 2 da injuries its merely sum cockroaches [the queen xpected some hyatt rooms 4 her]. So what will we do. We asked uncle whether there are sum spots nearby. The uncle seemed a little glad n den informed us dat deir indeed r sum ancient toilets nearby. Pissed of with toilet we finally decided that since we had no other option another than seeing toilets, den lets watch sum gr8 toilets out dere ,which r called “ Tourist spots” [goodness me], instead of staring vacantly at the walls of dis stupid toilet. The plan was fixed.we will go to a nearby toilet the next day..



To be continued.....

The story is about a boy. A usual boy with usual habits, with even a more usual lifestyle, nothing was uncanny about the boy, everything went on with perfect harmony, of course there was a few crushes in his life, but none of them was very serious, the boy was single but was happy, as free as a cloud, roaming over the sky, with dreams in his eyes, to have something, to own someone, but he was free. There were no responsibilities, no headaches whatsoever, he always went on criticizing about the looks and other things about the girlfriends of his other friends, "you know, she doesn’t deserve you.",” this girl is not suitable for you." , " oh! Shez an absolute stunner, try him out.” Be that any kinda problem in love he was always there to help others out. He gained some reputations in being a middleman, but he never thought of himself. All were going fine with the boy enjoying his life wholeheartedly helping others. The boy grew up gradually and one day he passed the secondary exam. One day, before admission to the school, the boy was talking with one of his closest pals, the other boy said," u kno A, a beautiful girl is coming 2 our school, I m in the same coaching as the girl is, n m already somewhat started loving her", the boy smiled and said, " let her come here, I think I will be able to handle the case for u."

The first day at school after secondary Exam. the boys friend showed the boy the girl," what's so special about her??" the boy thought," neways m not going to get involved in this case, so its not mah concern." But as the periods passed the boy realized that the girl kept staring at him as if a show in the TV in going on. For the first time in his life the boy felt a thrill his mind. He was a little bit stirred; a girl staring at him was a new experience for him. But that’s all. The sections were divided n the girl fell in the same section as the girl, a feeling of joy bloomed in the boys mind, but he failed to recognize for what was that. The girl came from a reputed girls school, as the days passed the boy realized that the girl keeps gawking over him with her nervous but beautiful eyes, he ascertained the fact by asking his friends to examine her activities, (he n his friends may were wrong). The boy started getting concerned about his own activities, he realized that the girl is slowly taking place in his thoughts, but still he could not say that that was love, he thought it to be a mere infatuation, n will heal very fast, but the God had some other things in mind, the girl's section was changed n in her place came the boys some old n good friends, the boy felt happy, coz he wanted to see his friend back, but deep in this glee was hidden some sort of gloom, soon the boy realized that he can not live without seeing the girl at least once, n for that he was ready to bunk his class being aware of the fact that if he gets caught then he might get suspended. But still he could not help himself, but still he thought that it’s a mere crush n will heal soon. Days passed by. One day the boy was informed that the girl thinks him to be a thug n was afraid of him, for the first time in his life the boy experienced a kind of sorrow that he had never had in past, he started trying to change himself, started becoming more passive n concentrate on studies, but the girl had stolen his heart n she was in no intention to give it back to him, she started coming in dreams of the boy, clinching the last bit of recess that he had in his life, studies went in vain, as whenever the boy opened some books the girls face flashed on it, he could have betted anything to see the girl for once, to see her smiling nothing else he was happy seeing her smiling. the matter turned so worse that once one of the most brilliant boy in the class attended the school on the eve of an important exam just in the hope that he could see her once, it was sufficient for him, but he really had a hard luck no body turned out there, he started reaching the home late and miss his friends' company coz he awaited in the bus stand for the girl.

Love could never be hidden n the girl became aware of the fact n started avoiding the boy, it hurted the boy even more, he was not so matured then as to think that the girl may not liked him, but due to some reason the boy suddenly got serious about his studies and fought hard on the basis of what we call a miserable preparation, but he was meritorious n managed to get a satisfactory rank in a very important career orienting exam.

One of the boys' friend told him that “why don’t you propose her??". n another well wisher friend charged him up n that resulted in a proposal by the boy on the eve of the result out of the higher secondary exam, the girl waved the q, neither she told yes nor no; but the boy thought" she has not denied me, lets try a bit more" he was not in the normal state, love made him blinds otherwise he could have understand that this was a kinds of denial. But they got parted.

The boy founds a contact with the girl via one of his trustworthy friend, n he asked him to do something. The boy did do something but he carried a sad news to the boy that the girl do not love her n love sum1 else, n the boy's efforts r making their relationship suffer through downs, the girl also alleged the boy of being a nerd, one who is involved only in studies n nothing else n told that she does not like such boys, she hates them, she also told that the boy is very nonsense to think that only since hez good in studies n managed to enter a reputed institution, he must not think that he will get whatever he wishes, shez not such a cheap girl. When was asked why shez not telling it to him clearly, the reply was that she likes to PLAY WITH THE BOY’S HEART N FEELINGS, ITS LIKE A GAME FOR HER,A GAME INDEED.

The boy was already bleeding, he might not have been able to withstand this blow if there were not some golden friends with him, with the efforts by those friends n enormous effort by the boy himself, he was able to forget her somewhat.

But the destiny played its game again, the boy had to go to his school becoz of some social gathering, n he saw the girl there again with her boyfriend, his heart wanted to tear itself apart, his mind refused to assist his body, but he still went on with a forced smile lingering in the edges of his dry lips.

The boy is dead now, his tears have dried, his heart is not responding but he have made a promise before the go, that he will arise again, arise as a phoenix does from its ashes,n this time he will transform, he will impart everything in his character that he was alleged of.

THE BOY WILL REINCARNATE & IT’S A PROMISE.

The Window

[ Its not written by me, I got this stuff as a mail]

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should he have all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - and that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button, which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence--deathly silence.

The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away--no words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The Leeches

It was a usual day. Rehanna got up early in the morning at about 5 am. They live in a slum. In such places even the youngest member of the family has some responsibilities on his/her shoulder, so does Rehanna has, she is the only earning member of the family, her mother is disabled, bedridden. She is suffering from tuberculosis, counting her last days, for a call from somewhere unknown, where there will be less responsibilities, less toils, and off course less poverty, Rehanna’s father is an alcoholic, the only job he does is to torture her sick wife n daughter, n clinch even the last pennies from them, he’s like a leech that sucks every traces of blood from one’s body, the only difference is that you can’t shake off this kind of leeches. You’ll have to bear them with you as long as you live..like a chronic ulcer, that pains n never heals. However we seem to get a little diverted from the main topic. She wake up before there were any light, all the birds were chirping like it’s the end of the creation. A sweet smells surrounded Rehanna, the smell of virginity, virgin dawn was there. Much like a child Rehanna does not want to work n earn money, she wants to study or to do something else. But the circumstances compelled her to get engaged in this profession, she works as a maid in houses, doing their works, helping their children to get ready for school n everything that an usual maids do, nothing extraordinary, but sometimes it appears a little bit difficult for a 8 year old girl,

This day Rehanna’s body was not permitting her to work, a mist of something was surrounding her, as if she was getting choked under it (she was having a sore throat n fever yaar). So she came to her father. “Abba, I’m not feeling well!! Please lemme take a break today”. ” What!!”Her father shouted” you little bitch, you r***y, you have gone after your mother!! You dirty bitches always find some lame excuses to avoid labor… m not gonna listen, what will happen if the Babus expel you…. No no!! I’m not gonna listen, you must go to the work…whatever be your condition.” A feeble moan came from her mother’s side, which ceased at once when her father gave her an elbow…” now get ready… the last day you were late… n the Babus complained me of it…. Get ready quick…. F****n w***e”. Rehanna realized that there is no use. So she started to get ready. She was really feeling sick… as if something is gonna happen… something bad… worse….worst.. but whatever be the situation, she had to go for the work unless she will get punished by a strong beating possibly with a whip or something resembling that.

It took just about 15 minutes to get ready….” You nasty little minx… do you have an appointment to sleep with someone… you are going to work… you need not such make ups… do u follow”. its about 30 minutes of walk from Rehanna’s house, her hut better to stay… Rehanna started the daily journey… but today she was dragging her feet… her body was willing to go to the bed, or to the lash green fields with blue sky touching its edges… she was a small girl not accustomed to the world…

Rehanna reached the crossing that she has to cross daily to get to the other side of the… it was an usual day like any other… but it was not an usual day like any other…her organs were not co-operating her… but the usual traffic was there… she did not noticed the green signal… it was an usual day… but it was not an usual day… the bus driver ran his bus over her… finally the organs won..they are now free to go to anywhere they want… some other vehicles followed that bus… n Rehanna turned into a lump of raw flesh smeared with blood just like we smear the ham with butter when doing a barbecue. Her brain scattered on the roads… none noticed… the pedestrians halted for a while, some sympathetic words, some “how did it happened… n everyone followed their way… it was a usual day for others…they had to go to their work, otherwise their bosses will penalize them.. none has time..

A hearth came… there was no need of an ambulance, you may treat a wounded man but not a wounded soul, a lump of meat n some cerebral juices. But the blood refused to follow others… for him the dusty roads was a very comfortable place. In Kolkata there’s no arrangement for washing streets… so the street remained brown for a while n slowly started to turn into black…. Usual.

“Now why did that silly girl made an absence today!!” the Babuma was thinking. She had to work herself to make little Aryan ready fro school. She was wondering all these while walking on the footpath n holding Aryan’s hand.. Aryan was enjoying a lollipop… the same crossing came with the streets showing some signs of brown till then..” It’s red! Lets cross the road” Babuma said. While crossing the roads suddenly the lollipop fell from Aryan’s hands on some brown portion of the road n before Babuma could say anything Aryan picked it up n started licking it again. “What the heck!! Don’t do this again.” Told Babuma” n by the way!! Why the hell is the road brown?? Oh I understand!! It must be the soil that the lorries carry… silly drivers… destroying the beauty of the roads”- Thought Babuma.

Leeches are there; some intentionally, some unintentionally. But they all do the same job ; they suck BLOOD.

The Suspension

“Phewww”-a deep warm sigh emerged out of Atin’s otherwise cold nostrils. Its 9:50 and he had missed the 9:36 Diamond Harbor local for only a few minutes. “What now??”-thought Atin. Being a daily passenger in this route he knew that the 11:20 Diamond Harbor always remains overcrowded.” I will again have to hang from the gates”- thought Atin.

At this stage, we should make ourselves a little bit familiar with Atin. Who he is? From where he has come all these details are immaterial here. The sufficient information about Atin is that he is still single and works for a B.P.O.

“Whooooosh-koooooooo”- the 11:20 arrived at Bullygunge junction with the passengers hanging from everywhere and it is only Bullygunge so it has way to go and gather some more stubborn passengers.Atin managed to keep a foot in the train and the train left the station.

“Shit! here comes the fatigue again!!”-thought Atin, his forearm was aching because of hanging. The passengers know that the only way to get rid or better to say, suppress the pain is to indulge in some conversation with someone so that the mind may remain distracted. Atin looked at his sides. At right was a coughing old man (possibly an alcoholic), he looked as if his days are almost over.Atin looked at left. A lean and pale boy was hanging there. Despite of the poverty that clearly reflected from his clothing, his eyes were exceptionally bright almost like glittering marbles. “ Hi!”- said Atin. The boy looked at him n smiled.” Are you habituated with this kind of journey??”.” No, not really. But I reckon I better do so”- replied the boy and the conversation started. From the boy’s words, Atin came to know that his name is Asesh. Previously they belonged to a middle class family as his father worked as an LIC agent. When he was eleven, his father passed by. Asesh finished his studies with great difficulty and secured a job in a small company. He has his mother in the home and his mother is completely dependent on him.

Surprisingly Atin realized that this guy has a great potential to be his friend so the conversation never seemed to stop and the train got crowded even more. Being an experienced fellow Atin was able to orient himself in a comfortable position but Asesh was unable to do so. But still they continued to talk as if they were a pair of long separated friends. Then the moment came.

It was between Baghajatin n Garia. A fellow inside the train elbowed a man standing at the gate. Unable to control himself, the man fell over Asesh n Asesh was so absent minded that he failed to withstand the thrust. As his grip slipped from the bar, he tried to clasp the air. Once, twice, thrice but the air betrayed him, a screeching halt, few droplets of fresh bloods stained Atin's face. “oh my god!!”” what happened”- questions n comments from all over the compartment filled the air. It took 5 mins to Atin to realize what actually has happened.

Finally the train got running after 15 mins but it again made a long stop as it reached Garia. Atin got off from the train, sprinkled some water on his face n vomited a little. He could not believe that the boy, to whom he was talking moments earlier, is now no more. The train reached Sonarpur most of the passengers left the train. Atin retired to a vacant corner n occupied a seat there, when a lady entered.

She was an angel, an absolute beauty, “ Wow!!”- thought Atin, she must have fallen from the heavens!! Atin stared at her, as if a child is staring at candies. The girl noticed it n came to him n sat next to him. The hint of smile in her face encouraged Atin to speak to her-“Are you a regular passenger??” “Oh no!! But I will be one soon.” “Do you work in ********??”, “ yeah! I work in a phone booth”………….. The girl’s name was Puja. She lived in **********. Atin came to know many more information about her but I will not bore the reader narrating all them. In a nutshell, a small bud of romance bloomed in both minds. Atin thought himself to be lucky to board 11:20. Time went on as if he has a hurry to attend the first class in the school n ******** arrived. Atin will get off in the next station. In the meantime, he managed a date with Puja. Atin wondered of the times when he got humiliated by his friends for being single, of the time when Priya dumped him leaving him all alone, now he has an answer to all of them, he has arranged a date with a gorgeous lady.

While building all these castles in the air n talking to Puja, Atin unmindfully reached the door. All on a sudden, the train gave a powerful jerk as if something huge has thrashed on its sidewalls, the passengers all fell on each other n on the ground. Puja got smashed with the seats. When she managed to get into control, she looked for Atin. He was not there. A loud shriek came out of Puja’s throat n the train squeaked to a halt for the second time. Soon the guards n the stuffs arrived. “Very unfortunate case indeed, anyway its a suspension problem”- reported the engineer.

Next day, when Puja entered the same compartment, she saw a very handsome guy staring at her. As usual, the conversation started soon. The guy’s name was Pradip. It took no time to turn strangers into friends n friends into something special. Pradip managed Puja for their first date at some place. Meanwhile the train reached ********. Pradip went to the door and………..

No, nothing happened this time. It reached the next station safely n Pradip boarded off. Whether Pradip became able to impress Puja on their date or if the became able to marry her are all immaterial here. But one thing for sure- Both the animate n inanimate suspensions worked fine this time!!

Note:- Carefully note the nomenclature n the words in bold at the end, think......., this is not a very easy to comprehend type of story, n the english of the author is a little bit weak so please excuse him.

Sometimes we refuse to see what's in front of us,
sometimes we want to embrace the dear old pillow more tightly but the straws hurt us,
sometimes we want to fight standing on a base that descends continuously,
sometimes people become so austere that they don't hesitate to kill innocence,
sometimes we don't want to dream cause it frightens us,
sometimes we don't want to love cause it brings gloom in our already gloomy lives,
sometimes we don't want to live cause death beckons us,
sometimes we don't want to die cause there's much to be done yet.
If these phases come to your life my friend
then its time for you to get changed,
just give a kick to those old dearings,
and stare at the world outside;
it still has something to give to you
it still has something to share with you
and you too,
has something for it
it requires prowess to accept whatever has happened
and you need not have that in you.
Don't forgive anyone
don't forget anything.
A day will come
when you will have your chance;
you need not be a noble person
you are what you are
but till then you have to stay alive,
you have to stay alive to shut all the mouths
you have to stay alive to reply all the critics
you have to stay alive to show that what you can do
you have to stay alive to see them regretting
begging to you
but till them you have to stay alive.
So never say die
a blind man can also survive in this world
so you need not see what's in front of you,
if the old pillows hurt
just throw them away n go for a new one,
if you cant afford one then also throw it away
at least you won't get wounded, you wont bleed,
if the base descends then try to be taller, a mile or so,
if they wanna kill you, then before they can do so, you kill yourself
and reappear like a phoenix,completely rejuvenated,
if people try to kill innocence, why not you kill it before them
there's no place for innocence in this stern world,
if the dreams scare you, don't sleep
there will be no headache if there's no head
if you fear to love, then get accustomed with sorrow,
if you don't want to die as well as to live then try to kill your mind
try to kill your inner self cause its behind every problem

and finally don't take all these seriously
cause even I don't know whatever gibberish I have written